Bakla om nom nom

Since I quit WoW I’ve been playing uhm… more WoW.  Just in real life!  No, I’m not larping (yet), I play the WoW TCG.  It’s also been a great way to have a reason to bake more.  I’ve been taking orders on what to make and one of the guys requested baklava.

I’ve only had baklava like, maybe twice and it was the cheap stuff you get from Walmart.  It never really hit my fancy so I was a bit bummed that someone asked me to make it.

Oh well though, maybe homemade versions are better?

Food Network was of course my go to for a recipe like this and I was surprised at just how many chefs had recipes for it.  Emeril and Guy and a bunch of people I’ve never heard of and then I spotted the greek guy, Michael Symon.  At least I think he’s greek, he looks European hairy.

The recipe calls for a pound of nuts, walnuts and pistachios, both of which I hate.  I switched it up with pecans and almonds and it paid off in dividends (learned that work from Monopoly).

I opt’d for cutting it into squares rather than the diagonal diamonds (because my pan is ya know, a rectangle) and it was just easier to do that way.

The honey-lemon sauce that goes on the baklava smells scrum-diddly-umptious as well and I highly recommend this.  It’s messy to eat but soooooooo good.

Couple of points:

1.  Maybe it has to do with the way it’s cut, no idea, but the amount of syrup it makes is a bit much.  You could probably cut it down to 2/3rds of the amount or possibly even half (let me know if you halve it).

2.  If you accidentally get a lemon seed into the honey syrup that’s okay.  After you are done cooking it becomes clear again and they are easy to fish out.

3.  Serve and eat at room temperature or you won’t be able to pry it out of the pan.

Recipe:  Courtesy Michael Symon @ Food Network

For the Baklava:

• 1 pound pistachios and/or walnuts, coarsely ground, plus more for garnish
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon, or to taste
• 1 cup ground zwieback crackers or breadcrumbs
• They look like those lil’ brown toast pieces in chex mix.
• 4 sticks unsalted butter, melted
• 16 sheets phyllo dough (thawed, if frozen), cut in half
• The phyllo I bought at Walmart was already the right size and took 1 box.

For the Syrup:

• 3 cups sugar
• 1 6-to-8-ounce jar honey
• 1 to 2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice

Directions

Position a rack in the lower third of the oven; preheat to 350 degrees F. Combine the nuts, cinnamon and ground crackers in a bowl (Editor’s Note:  If for some silly reason you forget to put the cinnamon in, you can add it to the honey mixture and be fine.  You can also add some to the syrup anyway for that bonus cinnamon flavor.)

Brush a 9-by-13-inch baking dish with some of the butter. Layer 10 pieces of phyllo in the dish, brushing each piece with butter before adding the next (keep the remaining dough covered with a damp towel (I found it easier to work with if I didn’t cover it with a damp towel)). Sprinkle a quarter of the nut mixture over the dough. Layer 4 pieces of phyllo on top, brushing each with butter before adding the next; sprinkle with another quarter of the nut mixture. Add 4 more phyllo pieces on top, brushing each with butter, then add another quarter of the nut mixture, 4 more pieces of phyllo with butter, and the remaining nuts.

Layer the remaining 10 pieces of phyllo on top of the nuts, brushing each with butter; brush the top piece with extra butter. Cut into the baklava to make strips, about 1 1/2 inches wide. Then make diagonal slices, about 1 1/2 inches apart, to create a diamond pattern. Bake until golden, about 1 hour.

Meanwhile, make the syrup: Bring the sugar, honey and 1 1/2 cups water to a boil in a saucepan over medium heat and cook, 10 to 15 minutes. Add the lemon juice and boil 2 more minutes, then let cool slightly.

Pour the syrup over the warm baklava; let soak, uncovered, at least 6 hours or overnight. Garnish with nuts.

Bailey’s Irish Cream Profiteroles

I love that word.  Profiteroles.  It sounds so fancy!  Much fancier than cream puffs, which is what they are.

A friend of mine, Ira, got me some Bailey’s Irish Cream Puffs along time ago and I was amazed by them.  They were soft but crunchy on the outside and filled with the delectable Bailey’s Cream on the inside.  Truly masterful I’d say and I couldn’t have imagined I’d one day be able to make them.

Some time later, during the FNCCC, Betsy got the wild hair to make profiteroles.  What flavor could she fill them with though instead of just some plain vanilla?

“BAILEY’S IRISH CREAM FILLING!”  I shouted at her.  I wanted to make sure she didn’t misunderstand.  She made them and they were good.

I’m not one to be outdone though so I decided I’d tackle this scary concoction.

The dough for this is super weird.  It has the consistency of flour mixed in Elmer’s Glue and sticks to your fingers and tools just as well.

I missed out on getting a pic of it on the stove because you have to stir constantly to prevent any burning but once it’s done you get this thing.  My eggs are already mixed in but it looks about the same.

The methods seem a bit weird but this is really the only difficult part of the process.  The recipe calls for you to heap it onto the cookie sheet with spoons but I can’t imagine doing that with this.  I put it in a ziploc bag and cut the corner off and squirted it out that way.  Made it super easy to get on the cookie sheet and they tended to be a bit more uniform.

You bake ’em and out come these beautiful little cream puffs that are just as hollow as can be.  It’s a great feeling when you see them bake out like they are supposed to.

As a side note, ovens are hot (especially at 450F).  In fact, I suggest NOT touching the middle racks in your oven with the sides of your hand.  It hurts.

A lot.

From there you have another 2 options.  You can either cut off the bottoms with a bread knife or try using a pastry bag with a tip to fill them.

I made the Bailey’s Irish Cream Puffs awhile back and used the cutting off the bottom method.  They don’t get as full since you don’t have that pressure from the pastry bag but it was WAY easier… WAY easier.

The great thing about these is that they aren’t too sweet.  Well, it’s great at first but 10 cream puffs later you regret it.

Recipe courtesy of Cooks.com.

BAILEY PUFF PASTRY
– 1/2 c. butter
– 1 c. boiling water
– 1 c. sifted flour
– 1/4 tsp. salt
– 4 eggs
Heat oven to 450 degrees.
Melt butter in water and add flour and salt at once, stir vigorously. Cook, stirring constantly, until mixture form a ball that down not separate. Remove from heat and cool slightly. Add eggs, one at a time, beating after each, until dough is smooth.

Drop dough by heaping tablespoons on greased cookie sheet. Bake in 450 degree oven for 15 minutes. Lower oven to 325 degrees for 25 minutes. Remove cream puffs from oven and split. Turn oven off and put cream puffs back into oven for 20 minutes. Cool. Fill with cream filling before serving.

BAILEY’S PUFF FILLING
– 1 pkg. (3 5/8 oz.) instant vanilla pudding
– 1 env. whipped topping mix
– 1 c. milk
– 8 tbsp. Bailey’s Irish Cream
Empty contents of pudding and whipped topping mix into mixing bowl. Add milk and mix at high speed until thick. Add 8 tablespoons Bailey’s Irish Cream and mix until thoroughly blended. Chill and fill pastry puffs.

I don’t know the point of the whipped topping mix and it seems to come out just fine without it.

NY Cheesecake of OMGness

Betsy showed me this blog called, Smitten Kitchen.  The pictures are beautiful and they really invite me to cook what she’s making.  I’ve already bookmarked a dozen or so recipes to try out but I decided to start off with a NY Style Cheesecake.

I keep trying to tell the story but I just want to jump to the end!

I’ll just tell you, this turned out FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC!

Okay, the story.

I better understand why people just buy these in the store, they cost like half as much that way.  They also don’t taste as good.

The crust was super simple and the only thing I need to worry about next time is making sure to thin the corners out a bit.  Some places of the crust was like a quarter inch thick and that’s not so good.

Mixing everything was pretty easy and then I put that bitch into the oven.  The recipe said that if your pan has a teflon coating you need to be careful not to put it above 475 degrees F.  I have no idea if mine did so I messed up a bit and put the oven on 450.

You bake it at that temp for (a specified time) but when I realized it was at 450 instead of 475 I kind of just eyeballed it.  Then you have to reduce the heat to 12 and bake it ’til the second coming.

I got pretty scared though when I reduced the temp.  My cheesecake had a pretty golden color on the top but I’ve never seen a cheesecake with that color on top.  I’ve only seen them pristine white, ya know, like when ya buy it at Wal-Mart!

Do you know how to tell when a cheesecake is done?  You guess!  When it’s done it looks roughly like it does when you first put it in.  If it wasn’t for a timer I’d have no idea.  The center is still supposed to look a bit wet and it still has jiggle like when you first put it in so hell if I know what it looks like done.  ‘Cuz it doesn’t set-up until after you take it out and cool it and then refrigerate it.

It’s mind-boggling I tell you!

Have you ever made something and you can kind of tell when people think it’s a solid B.  They enjoy it but let’s face it, it’s not earth shattering.  I don’t like making a B.  I want an A+ with a gold star.

I want someone’s knees to buckle and to hear them moan as they taste my food.

This cheesecake did just that.

People were fighting over slices.

As of this posting, it’s the best thing I’ve ever made.

EVER.

How good was this?

– I gave some to my grandmother and she wouldn’t share it with my uncle or grandfather.

– Betsy has an allergy to dairy and eggs.  She still had a piece even though her throat was swelling up.

Recipe – Copied over from Smitten Kitchen.

New York Cheesecake
Adapted from Gourmet Magazine, a perfect example of why I miss it so

The changes I made to the original recipe were to one and three-fifths (yes, exactly that) the crumb crust because I like those that go up the walls (you still might have a smidge more than you need but I figure it is less annoying than measuring the recipe in 7 tablespoon amounts), significantly reducing the zest (because as far as I’m concerned, the entire zest from two citrus fruits is an absurdly high amount), fudging (unsuccessfully) with the baking time and adding a completely optional cherry topping. That is not from a can. You are welcome.

Crumb crust
8 ounces (15 4 3/4 x 2 1/2-inch sheets of graham cracker; yes, I am crazy enough to both count and measure) finely ground graham crackers or cookies such as chocolate or vanilla wafers
8 tablespoons (1 stick or 4 ounces or 113 grams) unsalted butter, melted
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt

Very tall cheesecake filling:
5 (8-ounce) packages cream cheese, softened (Philadelphia is recommended for cheesecakes but if you’ve had success with other brands, feel free to use them again)
1 3/4 cups sugar
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon finely grated lemon zest (I left this out, I hate it.)
1 teaspoon finely grated orange zest
5 large eggs
2 large egg yolks
1/2 teaspoon vanilla

Cherry topping
10 ounces sweet or sour cherries, pitted (they’re not in season here so I used frozen; worked just fine)
2 tablespoons lemon juice
1/4 cup sugar*
1 tablespoon cornstarch
1/2 cup water

Make crumb crust: Stir together crust ingredients and press onto bottom and up the sides, stopping one inch shy of the top rim**, of a buttered 9 1/2-inch (or 24 cm) springform pan. You can fill it right away but I like to pop my into the freezer so it quickly sets while I prepare the filling.

Make very tall cheesecake filling: Preheat oven to 550 degrees***. Beat together cream cheese, sugar, flour and zest with an electric mixer until smooth. Add vanilla, then eggs and yolks, one at a time, beating on low speed until each ingredient is incorporated. Scrape bowl down between additions; I cannot stress this enough as if you do not, you’ll end up with unmixed stripes of cream cheese. I always find at least one, despite my best efforts.

Put springform pan with crust in a shallow baking pan (to catch drips). Pour filling into crust (springform pan will be completely full) and baking in baking pan in the middle of the oven for 12 minutes or until puffed. Please watch your cake because some ovens will top-brown very quickly and if yours does too fast, turn the oven down as soon as you catch it. Reduce the temperature to 200 degrees (see Note below about my baking drama) and continue baking until cake is mostly firm (center will still be slightly wobbly when pan is gently shaken), about one hour more.

Run a knife around the top edge of the cake to loosen it and cool the cake completely in springform on a rack, then chill it, loosely covered, at least 6 hours.

Make cherry topping (optional): Place all ingredients together in a medium saucepan. Bring to a boil. Once it is boiling, cook it for an additional one to two minutes then remove from heat. Cool completely.

Remove side of pan and transfer cake to a plate. If you had any wonky baking issues (see my Note below), you might need to trim the cake flat. I promise not to tell anyone what happened to those scraps, okay?

Spread topping (if using) over chilled cheesecake. The original recipe says to bring this to room temperature before serving, but I never have!

Do ahead: Cheesecake keeps, covered and chilled, 2 weeks.

Baking drama: As some of the pictures might suggest, I really borked (an actual word, thank you) the baking of this cake. First, I was convinced that 550 degrees would singe my cake so I did the first step at 400, to see if you can get away with it. Yes, I am guilty of not following a recipe from time to time too. It turns out, 550 would have been just fine. Then, although I turned my oven down to 200, I didn’t check the thermometer inside my junky oven, and had I, I’d have realized that what my ovencalls 200 is more like 150. And an hour later, was almost completely raw. Then I upped it to 300, which my oven told me was actually 250, where it still took another hour to bake and gained many cracks. I blame the fact that the oven didn’t start hot enough, as many others have made this recipe crack-free. What’s the point of me sharing this? To give you a heads up that oven wonkiness may ensue. What matters is that, in the end, you do not take the cake out before it is ready. An accurate oven helps too. I’m going to get right on that.

* You might dial this up by up to another 1/4 cup if you’re using sour cherries. However, if you’re using sour cherries I’m going to assume it is because you like them, and the more tart taste they impart, thus you probably will enjoy this sauce just as much with only 1/4 cup sugar. Look at me, psychologizing!

** This is updated based on responses from commenters. Thank you, intrepid home bakers!

*** Yes, this is correct, but updated to note 9/12/10 that please, if you are using a Teflon-coated pan, note it’s temperature limit, often around 475, and only start your baking temperature there.

(11.12.11) Xeo Edit:  I realized that I tend to remake some of these recipes and I don’t ever really note my stupid changes.  Going to edit those in now.

– Drop the lemon zest, bump orange to 1.5 T orange.
– 450 for about 20-25mins for the top crust

6 Hrs doing what?

A few weeks ago was Bobby Flay’s week.  Mr. Flay is known for his BBQ but I was on a baking high (sounds drug related, it’s not) at the time and wanted to do something of his.  Bobby’s BBQ recipes certainly didn’t seem beginner so I figured his desserts wouldn’t be either.

And they aren’t.

I picked Bobby’s, hold on, I have to open another window and copy / paste the name cuz it’s ridiculously long.

Ok.

I picked Bobby’s Toasted Coconut Cake with Coconut Filling and Coconut Butter-cream.  Not sure if you clicked over to the recipe but if you did you’ll notice a funny little thing.

Total Cooking Time: 6 hrs 35mins.

IT’S NOT JOKING!

Problem is when I cook I tend to take all that time plus an additional 50%.  That’s what has been holding me back.  Finding a solid 8 hr block to cook isn’t exactly an easy feat.  Hell, that’s a work day!

I finally got some time today but got side tracked and didn’t start cooking until about 8pm.  That’s when I realized I was missing a few of the 45 ingredients.  It doesn’t help that there’s no shopping list to go with it so you have to write everything down.  Combine all the numerous items together (like the sugar that’s listed a few times and the eggs, you only need 6 by the by).  This is the most expensive cake I’ve ever made.  That’s after cutting some corners.

Vanilla beans are ‘SPENSIVE!  I opted for just using vanilla extract in place of them.  The only other change I made to the recipe was an extra third of a cup of confectioners’ sugar in the butter-cream.  I’m not a big fan of super sweet stuff but there is definitely a lack of sugar in the frosting and 3 sticks of butter just seems, well, let’s just say you are allowed one slice of cake and the rest has to be shared amongst friends.

Anyway, I get to makin’ this cake at 8pm.  I get my simple sugar syrup started.  I put my coconut into the oven to toast.

Mmmm…. toasted coconut is a delicacy.

I get started on my custard.  My milk said it went bad on the 23rd (today is the 27th).  It hasn’t been opened yet though because I drink soy or almond milk (lactose intolerance for the lose).  I open it and it smells and tastes fine’ish.  I call Betsy though since she’s the resident chef and all.  While I’m on the phone with her I figure it’s time to check on my coconut toasting.

Mmmm…. charred coconut, NOT a delicacy.

“Wanna go to Wal-mart with me Betsy and maybe come help me make a cake?”

“SURE!” she screams as I hear her knocking kids over in the background in a mad dash for the door.

Elapse 30 minutes (10 for Wal-mart and 20 because it’s how long Sonic took to get my drink).

This recipe really is a two person job.  One of the comments on the recipe was to split it into 3 days.  Custard and syrup day 1, cake and toasting day 2, and making frosting and doing frosting day 3.

We setup more coconut toasting and get started on the custard.  I’m stirring the stuff on the stove while Betsy gets started on the stuff that has to be mixed into it.

“Where’s your 1/3rd cup measuring cup?”  B asks.

“Right there.”  I point next to the sink where my HAND WASHED dishes are.  That’s right, I’m not 100% lazy and yes, I do own a dishwasher.

“That’s a 2/3rds cup.”  She says with a look of duh on her face.

“Yea,” I say, “just fill it halfway.  That’s what I do.”

Betsy looks at me like maybe I’m not playing with a full deck of cards.  That’s okay though.  I go back to eating my elmer’s glue and stirring the vanilla milk milk.

Everything goes pretty gold past this point.  Cakes are in the oven, getting ready to be done and it’s time to stick a toothpick in to see if they are ready.  I don’t have those though so I suggest a straw.

She laughs in my face.

How rude.

We resort to using match sticks (the non fiery end).

Cakes are done.  Pull ’em out and I want to flip them immediately.  That way they will cool flat.  I run Betsy home and finish up the ingredients waiting the allotted 2 hours for my stupid fucking custard to set up.

Once that’s done I make the butter-cream frosting which just takes like sweet butter to me but whatever.  The cakes have to be flipped back over and I stumble, figuratively that is.  I put the cakes face down on my cutting board (my wooden one) so the tops of the cakes stuck to ’em.  Oops!  Oh well, that’s what frosting is for right?

Have you ever tried to cut cakes in half?  Not across the top where it’s easy ya dolt.  In half like, into two big round pieces.  It’s very difficult.  Luckily you have icing and filling so people won’t really be able to see your layers that may or may not be anywhere near the same thickness.  Kind of like the difference between the thickness of a penny and the thickness of a roll of pennies.

The filling went on easy and then I iced the cake.  Butter-cream that is almost exclusively butter goes on really well.  It’s more the consistency of icing that comes from a can.  I spent a lot of time making sure the icing went on even and pretty.  Then when I was done I got pissed since I realized I was just going to cover it up with toasted coconut.

Which by the way, is some form of medieval torture.  I think Marie Antoinette started it.  Patting toasted coconut onto the side of a cake and then kind of not really brushing off excess so that you have enough to keep going around the outside is just silly.  Then you have to pat it on the top and how do you brush off extra from there?  It’s not like you can turn the cake sideways.  It starts to slide off the plate (not that I know… someone told me that… /whistle).

Anyway, I just got done with it and wanted to share this wonderful experience with you.  If Betsy hadn’t been there then there’s no way I would have gotten it done before 4am (and multiple super market trips).

I haven’t had a chance to try it but I can’t wait.  She sure turned out pretty though.

Special note… it’s 3am as of this writing.  I’m going to bed now.  I’m not going to stay up and fix all the lil’ grammar errors and the weird sentences that don’t make any sense.

In fact.

Your face!

Neely’s Spring Risotto

Note:  Commenting is back on.  Actually it never got turned off but that’s a long story.  Now, onto the real story.

I love me some risotto.  Ever since that first attempt I’ve really been in love with it.  When I make it correctly it has an amazing texture and the flavor you get from such a simple dish is really amazing.  When I find one of our new chefs it’s the first thing I look for.  Most of the time I’ll make it (plus something else so I’m not constantly talking about risotto to you all) but with the Neely’s nothing really popped out at me.

That means you are kind of stuck with this.

The Neely’s had a spring risotto that I figured I’d try.  After the last debacle that was the mediterranean pasta I didn’t want to chance ingredients that I know I don’t like.  The snow peas were just that ingredient in this so they became red bell peppers.

Just to pat myself on the back I’ve gotten so comfortable with making risotto that I hardly followed this recipe at all.  Which is funny considering the amount of mistakes I made making it.

Starting off I used an onion that was WAY too big (that’s what he said!)  Then I ended up adding too much liquid in the end and instead of allowing it to evaporate off I stopped the cooking (to prevent the rice from becoming mush).  It looked kinna gross in the pan with the extra liquid.  It didn’t help that I added in a bit too much parmesan cheese either.  The extra grease from it only added to the residual liquid.

On the upside though, it did taste pretty good!