Porn Store Confessional 3

1.  My MSN is a goldmine…

Betsy says:
– Publisher of upcoming ‘birther’ book makes no apologies
– quote from the article…
– “I’m not apologizing for nothing,” a defiant Farah said in a telephone interview with NBC News
– sounds smart enough to write a book, doesn’t he?
– good lord
Wil says:
– Oh lol, I thought it was Farah Faucet(sp?) but then I realized she’s dead so I started wondering how she wrote a book but if she’s dead of course it’s going to be bad cuz she’ll have written it as a zombie, I’d be surprised it didn’t just read… BRRAAAAIIINNNZZZZ
Betsy says:
– you need help.

2.  “Will that hollow strap on fit me?” the man asked.  I cocked my head at him and said, “I don’t know your anatomy sir.”

3. Bad parenting? You be the judge. A lady bought her stuff and as she was leaving she had to tell me a story.

“When I came in here last time I had my 13yr old son in the car. He kept wanting me to buy him a magazine so I bought him gay porn as a joke. He was not happy when I gave it to him but I laughed for hours!”

4.  Messenger funs…

Wil says:
-I’m signing up to judge at GenCon for the WoW TCG.
-It needs me to list an emergency contact.
-You are the most responsible person I know and the one most likely they’d be able to get ahold of.
Betsy says:
-[edited out]
Wil says:
-kk just makin’ sure
Betsy says:
-need the address too?
Wil says:
-I do want to be put on a machine BTW and I’m not a big fan of having anything amputated.
Betsy says:
-LOL ok
Wil says:
-I have no drug allergies… uhm, anything involving the loss of genitals (removal or loss of function)… just let me die.
-lol
Betsy says:
-burial or cremation?
Wil says:
-Surprise me!
-lol
Betsy says:
-a pyre at sea it is!
Wil says:
-Ohhhhh that sounds awesome.
-That’s what I want.
-Yep, pyre at sea.
Betsy says:
-i need to write this shit down
-vegetate on a machine = yes. amputation = no. loss of genitals = kill me now
-check.

5.  Guy came up to the register to pay and I decided to make small talk (day was slow and I needed human interaction okay?!).  “Just keeps getting hotter and hotter doesn’t it.”  I said.
“Yea.” He replied, “What people don’t realize though is that the corn isn’t growing and the wheat isn’t growing.”
“Yea…” I managed to say, trying to figure out where he was going with this.
“Then before you know it people will be eating their pets ‘cuz there’s no food and eventually each other.”

I looked straight at his face trying to see a smirk or some sort of haha just kidding look but there wasn’t one.  Guy was serious as a heart attack.

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