Garlic Spaghetti Ass

This week was Melissa d’Arabian.  I watched her win uhm that show… Next Foodnetwork Star, that was the name of it.  She seemed really good and had a great personality so I was all for her winning.

She’s all about fast and easy so I wanted to do something in the spirit of her, I selected garlic spaghetti.  The comments on the recipe said it was a bit greasy (half a cup of oil and almost a full stick of butter, I wonder why).  I cut the butter in half thinking that might do it… but we’ll come back to that.

You’ll notice the first step to making this dish is to make some garlic oil, half a friggin’ cup of it to be exact.  You mince up the garlic and put it in the oil and let it slow roast for 30 minutes.  I don’t know what setting low is but my stove doesn’t go there.  My burner was at the flickering before it goes out from lack of gas stage and I still burned the garlic at the 20 minute mark.

There goes a 1/2cup of oil and most of my garlic bulb.  Attempt number two I pulled it off the heat around 10-12minutes when the garlic was nicely browned.

Did you know crushed tomatoes don’t come in a 15oz can?  They only come in a bucket that is twice the size.  I got the bucket anyway since Betsy pointed out that if it seemed too greasy I could just add more sauce.  Luckily I didn’t have any place to store extra crushed maters so I just dumped them all in and said to hell with it.

I put in half of the butter and if that’s all the grease/oil that went into it then it would have been perfect.  The flavorless sauce looked just glossy enough, very good.

Then I poured in 1/2 a cup of semi garlicky oil.  It looked like a hot mess.

After finally getting the oil 90% stirred into the sauce (because it just wouldn’t fully incorporate) I taste tested.

Surprise!  It tasted like garlicky tomatoes.  Srsly… I just spent an hour making garlicky tomatoes?  I added in some red pepper flakes so it would at least have a bit of heat and set it to simmer while I waited for water to boil.

Pasta done, mixed into sauce, behold… 2 hour spicy garlicky tomato spaghetti.

Have you ever eaten something and it kind of makes you sick because you know just how unhealthy it is?  Sure, cupcakes and chocolate are bad for you but they taste so good you forget.  This doesn’t make you forget.

It makes you feel blah.  What you should do is sautee the garlic in 2 tablespoons of EVOO then add in the tomato sauce and some oregano plus mushrooms for texture.  You could go with an even easier method called Prego which would be faster and still taste better than this dish.

Probably not a plus but it has so much oil it will pass through you like a sieve.  I would NOT recommend this dish.

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