The best part about reading about food is the pictures! But I forgot to take any… but I forgot to take any so… yea.
This past week was Warren Brown and he had 11 recipes I think? One of which was, “Take sugar cookies, frost them.” Seriously, that’s pretty much how it read. His most notable recipe was an apple cobbler that Betsy ended up making and she needs to get a writeup of that shit yo. It was soooooooo fucking amazing I can’t even tell you.
I decided to just bake something and Betsy’s mom offered me a recipe called Buffalo Chips. It’s a cookie recipe that has to be from the 80s or 90s, before they realized that some things in copious amounts weren’t good for you. Starting off for the recipe it has 1 cup of butter, 1 cup of shortening, 2 cups of granulated sugar, 2 cups of brown sugar… see where this is going?
Then you have chocolate chips and shredded coconut and it’s just insane. I’ll add the recipe to the end for those interested in it.
The amount of ingredients was a bit daunting and the amounts so large that I broke out my bowl that’s big enough to bathe a baby in. I’ve screwed up PLENTY OF TIMES thinking a bowl was big enough only to have to transfer stuff halfway through the making. Wasn’t going to let it happen this time around.
After you put in the butter, shortening, and 2 lbs. of sugar you get a very nice and sweet batter. Then you have to add in 2 lbs. of flour. It didn’t tell me to do it slowly so I dumped it all in and went to town! It was pretty tough mixing it in. My hand mixer was audibly struggling and I feared it would give out but we kept on mustering through it.
That’s not all though because then you add a cup of rolled quick oats (which I still have a ton left and will probably be turning into no bake cookies). The coconut and choco chips go in at this time as well and the mixer was like… fuck this, I quit.
Betsy’s brother, Scott, was over and we were playing PS3 games and getting liquored up (wild Friday night, I know). He comes over just to watch my cooking disasters now and he showed me how to mix it using the spatula to kind of fold this ginormous fucking batter together.
The problem that creeps up once you add the oats is that it turns it into granola and you can imagine how tough mixing 8 lbs. of granola can be. It also has issues holding together and is very crumbly.
It calls for you to measure out 1/4 cup of the dough to make the cookie (hence the reason it’s a buffalo chip because buffalo’s poop is big). I had wanted to do them in smaller sizes but when you get done and realize you have a silly amount of batter you toss that idea out the window and start measuring the quarter cups. I was using a quarter cup… cup, and if you pack it too much into the measuring cup the cookie has difficulty melting. You will endup with a cookie that looks like it came out of a catfood can (that tastes fucking amazing).
I was pretty happy with how they turned out and Scott’s dad said, “They were the best baked thing I’ve made yet.” He’s a sweets tasting guru so pretty good compliment /nod.
1. I’d recommend rolling them into a ball or something after you measure the amount so they cook prettier but either way they were really good.
2. Use a finer sugar because it turned out a bit gritty (or mix better).
(recipe goes here when you get home!)