IRL: (Adult Store) Shopping Etiquette

I’ve been working in retail for 7 years now and I’ve noticed that people can be… well rude.  People might not even notice they are being rude sometimes and I’m sure that I’ve done one or two of these things before.  But we all need to take a step back and realize that these are people standing behind the counter.

That in mind I wanted to share some things that drive me insane.

1.  When paying, HAND me the money.  Don’t drop it on the counter like I’m a plague victim or heaven forbid toss it at me like they are homeless begging for change.

2.  Cell phones… wow o wow do things get sketchy here.

–  The polite thing to do is ask the person to hold for a few moments while you check out.  You wouldn’t appreciate it if the cashier is talking on the phone while trying to check you out so don’t do the same to them.

–  If you want to talk to me while on your cell phone then ask that person to hold.  Don’t talk to them and try to ask me a question because I don’t know who you are talking to.  Have a blue tooth headset?  I will rip it off your head, possibly along with your ear, and hop up and down on it.

–  If you insist on talking on the phone while I’m trying to check you out, then don’t shoosh me when I ask you if that’s everything or when I ask you if 12 inches is too much for whatever hole you are putting it in.  Don’t want them to know you are shopping for a traffic cone or enough lube to fill a pool?  Don’t talk on the phone while checking out.

3.  This might be more personal but when a group of customers includes me in the conversation it really helps my day out.  I enjoy talking with customers, bantering and helping you find things.  Don’t misunderstand this though.  I’m not going to be your best friend so don’t try to hang out with me because no one else will talk to you (exception: you’re hot, yes… I’m shallow).

4.  Employee’s of the store rarely control the prices on items.  Don’t yell and be hateful to us because you think something is too high.  Telling me you can buy it cheaper at Wal-mart doesn’t make it cheaper in my store.  If you don’t like the price, keep it to yourself and shop elsewhere.

5.  Don’t assume because I work in an adult store that I want to…

– Have sex with you.
– Have sex with you for money.
– Know someone who wants to have sex with you (even for money).
– Know a massage parlor that gives happy endings.

All that aside… you are the customer and the reason I have a job.  I want to help you as best I can assuming you can be an adult.  Treat me with respect and I will give you respect.  I have a lot of knowledge to share and can help you get to where you are going.


3 thoughts on “IRL: (Adult Store) Shopping Etiquette

  1. Xeo says:

    What part of the sex thing is surprising?

    Don’t get me wrong, I’m certainly flattered when people want to take me home it’s when they don’t get the hint I’m not interested and are just short of using chloroform that worries me lol!

  2. Deviant Diva says:

    Also, this isn’t a petting zoo. Don’t make me open 47362936287483937 products and then not buy anything because you’re “just looking.” And also-be aware when you go into a store that if tere is only one person working, they likely can’t get a drink or go to the restroom with people in the store.

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