FNCCC 11 – the Amaretto Sour+

Friday was a rough day for me to say the least.

Our alarm system at work has been on the fritz and the technician showed up at like 3 to start working on it.  He was still there at 6pm when he accidentally set it off and the cops showed up (I was already at my second job).  I didn’t grab my cell fast enough so they called MY BOSS to tell him the alarm was going off.  Great right?  Now I look like shit.

That put me in a pretty shitty mood which sucked because I was at my second job that I’m growing to hate.  A lot of the time managers are just standing around doing fuck all while I’m working my ass off and it PISSES ME OFF.

I like to test my boundaries.  Once I know where I stand I want to see how far I can push the line.  How bendable are the rules.

Since I was in a bad mood Friday I figured what the fuck, I’ll test EVERY BOUNDARY I HAVE!  I started by telling the assistant manager how to do her job.  Not once, not twice, but three times.  I was very condescending to her.

The end of the night was the big you did what? moment for me.  We were closing and I don’t fuck around with money.  I don’t want to be short because it comes out of MY CHECK.  That’s why I don’t share my drawer with anyone else.  When they bring the bag up to me from the back I count my drawer to make sure it’s right.  I’ve had it be $5 short opening and up to $10 long.

I’m OCD about how my money is arranged in my drawer and when I came back from break I realized it had  been messed with.  I let the MOD (manager on duty) know someone had used my drawer and she said yea I had the FES (front end supervisor… read: glorified cashier) do it.  This lit a fire under my ass but I bit my tongue at that time.

Anyway, I was counting my drawer at closing and the MOD told me I didn’t have to count it.  That the money bitch in the back counts it in the morning.  I told her I didn’t trust the money bitch with my cash so I just wanted to make sure I came out even.  I told her that since someone else used my drawer it was only fair that I counted it to make sure I came out right.  If I was going to be short it came out of my check and when it comes to money, I TRUST NO ONE.

Was I in the right?

Abso-fucking-lutely.

BUT!

I did it in a completely inappropriate way.  I argued with her in front of other employees.  I dared her to step up and put me in my place.  She didn’t though.  She didn’t tell me I was being inappropriate and that if I had a concern I should take it up with her in private.  She would have asserted her authority and shown everyone around that they don’t fuck with her.  Instead I had to back pedal and apologize for being inappropriate.  That makes me look bad but it still lets everyone know they can push her around.

I can’t tell you how bad I feel about it now.  I was having an extremely shitty day and I chose her to take it out on.

I hope there is a write up waiting for me when I go into work next because I deserve it.  Plus I think it’ll put us back on a level playing field and give some closure to the issue.

Now… WTF does this have to do with my FNCCC?

Well.

I went to Den and Betsy’s after work.  I hadn’t eaten since 11am that day so I figured the best meal would be a liquid one.

We had tequila, vodka, amaretto, sweet n’ sour, some ginger ale and club soda.  We had regular coke and some wine called Thunderbird.  Thunderbird is what you drink when you are an alcoholic living on the street drinking wine from a bottle in a paper sack.  It tastes like the sweat off a water buffalo.  NASTY NASTY NASTY

I had to pour it out.

Then I mixed 2.5 shots of tequila, some club soda and some sweet n’ sour mix.

Yum-Fucking-O.

I got a pretty nice buzz off that (remember my stomach was completely empty).

After that came the amaretto sours+.  What is that you ask?  An amaretto sour is a shot of amaretto and 2 shots of sweet n’ sour on the rocks.  The + is a shot of vodka!

I was three sheets to the wind after 2 of those.  They are soooo good its scary.  I passed out at some point but woke up around 5 or 6 am to give one good throw up.  Went back to sleep and my alarm went off at 7am.  Uh oh.  Guess who has to be at work at 9am?  I drive home and I’m feeling nauseous as hell.  I’m now only 1 sheet to the wind (I only live about 6 blocks from D&Bs) at this point.  I throw up again in my front yard and head straight for the shower.  What better place to sit to recover then a cold shower?

8:30am rolls around and I call my boss.

ring ring

“Heya Store Manager, I can’t make it in (pause to vomit) I’m sick as shit.  I think its food poisoning from the turkey we had at the potluck last night.”

“You don’t think its stomach flu?”  She asks.

“No I don’t think so.  It’s just vomitting, no diarrea.”  I’m sure she wanted to know that but at this point in time I’m calling her from a cold shower while I randomly vomit.  Dignity has already left the building.

“Okay she says.”

I apologized and let her know if I get better I’ll call and see if they need me tonight.  I felt like shit most of the day and but a friend was in town so we went and hung out.

I found out the assistant manager also called in sick.  Little does she know my brother is a bartender and I found out he was serving her cognac and cranberry all night.  I’ll have to mention that to her when I see her (after I apologize again for being a douche).

But yea….

That’s my drink.

Amaretto Sour+

  • 1 shot Amaretto
  • 1 shot vodka
  • 2 shots sweet n’ sour
  • Top off the glass with ice and club soda for fizz.

UPDATE:

Here’s an update on the situation with my boss.

I went in Sunday morning and after a bit she came in.  She was supposed to close but was trying to get another manager to work for her because she looked like microwaved poop.

I was on my break and she was in the managers office so I asked her if she wanted me to sign a write-up.  She asked what for?  I jokingly said because I’m just too nice and because she is sooooo amazing.  It was over the top and only slightly sucking up.  She said nah.  I checked to make sure and she said we were cool.

I asked if she was okay and if there was anything I could do but she said she just needed another manager to work for her.  I asked if she was hungover cuz she called in Saturday as well.  My brother is a bartender and she just happened to be drinking at his bar on Friday night.  She laughed and said no it had something to do with some medications she was taking.

Then the Dungeon Master (read: district manager) called her.  I listened in a bit and she was trying to explain to him she couldn’t get into the hospital until tomorrow and that she couldn’t find anyone to work for her.  That she was in no condition to run a store today.

I disagree with the running the store because at this point she doesn’t have to do a whole lot.  Especially if I’m at the front.  I have no problem taking charge and telling bitches WTF to do.  All she had to do was sit back and ride the wave until close.

She ended up leaving and I heard Cthulhu (read: store manager) was coming in.  I was like ugh, I didn’t want to close with the harbinger of doom.  I didn’t get out soon enough though and ended up sticking around to close.

During the last few hours of work though the rumor jumped up that Ass Manager quit?!  She said she didn’t appreciate how Cthulhu was treating her for calling in (which, let’s be honest… if you’ve been doing poorly you shouldn’t go out on a Friday night drinking with coworkers).

It got funnier though because Angel, my new friend from working at the Hellmouth (I don’t think Ross is the Hellmouth but everything else has a code name so there we go)!  She walked up to Cthulhu at closing and asked if there was an opening for Assistant Manager.  Cthulhu began devouring the positive energy in the room and told Angel that if there was an opening everyone would be notified at the same time and then she stormed off.

Angel apologized for pissing her off and then Cthulhu says, “When I tell you no the first time that should be it.  You shouldn’t keep badgering me about it.”

I was like… ohhhhh shit!  Oh no she didn’t!

Of course Angel was spun into a whole new realm of pissed the fuck off.  She grabbed her shit and headed for me.  I was a deer in headlights… I put my head between my legs and kissed my ass goodbye.

“I’m fucking 31 years old.  I’m not one of these snotty little teenaged brats.  If she thinks she can treat me like that she’s got another thing coming.”

This of course all but officially confirms that the Ass Manager is no more.

I kind of love corporations and the amount of drama that goes on in them.  I do enjoy living in a soap opera.

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4 thoughts on “FNCCC 11 – the Amaretto Sour+

  1. Shiny says:

    At least you have a conscience and you know what you did wrong, and what you need to do to make it right/fix it. I hope your next day of work is a better one and you set things straight.

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