I’m still a little new to home owning and things that most take for granted I’m still kind of discovering.
For example if you go 3 weeks without cutting your grass you only have a few options… almost all of them involving mass destruction.
It took me 3 hours last night to mow the lawn. I had to take it really slow or the poor thing would start to cough and sputter and yell obscenities at me. Total mowing time was really about 2 and a 1/2 hours though cuz I had to take some short breaks.
The first was when the mower had died. I thought it had overheated (it’s a REALLY old mower and I wouldn’t past it) but that wasn’t it. The cord you have to pull real fast would sometimes not catch so I thought maybe that was the problem but it was doing what it was supposed to. I checked to make sure the wire hadn’t come off the spark plug and I made sure the throttle was down… but I just couldn’t get it started.
I was getting angry at this point and called my grandfather. First thing he asks is did it run out of gas? I said well of course not, I just refilled it not long ago. I checked anyway just to humor him.
Then I went and got the gas can and filled it up.
The second break was me trying to convince myself that pouring gas on the yard and lighting a match was a bad idea. This wasn’t because I didn’t want to mow the yard (partially). It was because while I was mowing I mowed up close to the side of the house and 5 or so wolf spiders (see picture to the right) ran up the wall.
I ran opposite that wall.
That’s when how best to destroy them started to enter my mind. I couldn’t possibly catch them all in one fell swoop, they did run after all. A nuclear explosion would be counterproductive so that was out of the question and my lack of shooting skills would probably bring the cops to my house when I started firing rounds at my house.
My flame thrower was in the shop and I didn’t have enough gas to burn down the yard or the knowledge to control the fire from burning down the house. I just had to keep mowing.
It did work as a GREAT motivator though. Whatever time I lost considering the destruction of the wolf spider family I made up for I’m sure with my frantic mowing.
I’m trying not to destroy my computer right now… do you see that picture? Do you know how difficult it was just to find that picture?! My skin is crawling now just trying to type this out for you. I tried finding one that gave you a better idea of the scale on them but after I passed out the second time I just said fuck it and plugged that on in. Wikipedia says their body length is usually around an inch but I’m pretty sure the ones I saw were the size of small children.