How do you start a post that signifies just how bad at cooking you are?
My favorite dish of all time is Garlic Chicken Pasta. I love it soooooo much… but I’m completely incapable of cooking it. The dish is stupid simple.
In fact, you have to be… I’m gonna nix that part cuz I’d be calling myself that.
I’ve cooked it several times and always I’ve fucked something up. Most of them have been minor… but it only takes a little bit to mess something up.
- Too much salt.
- Not enough salt.
- Overdone pasta.
- Semi-raw chicken.
Those do sound kind of bad actually after I list them. Let’s forget that though, because last night I top’d it.
I had complained to Betsy that I sometimes forgot to add things at the right time or at all so she suggested mise en place or everything in its place. Basically you just take everything out you are going to need and have it sitting in front of you so that you can’t forget it. Plus you’ll have your recipe right there so its like… full proof.
It isn’t however fool proof (haha, see what I did there?)
I set out everything, made it and it went GREAT! I didn’t forget anything. It went smooth. My timings were all spot on. Chicken was done perfectly, just the right amount of golden and allowed to simmer in the spices for a bit while the pasta was finishing. The pasta came out a perfect al dente. I was soooooo excited. I fixed the plates for Jon and I. Sat down. Tasted it. And thought… how the fuck is this bland!?
WTF did I do wrong?!
I went over everything in my head… couldn’t figure it out. I txt’d Betsy and said I fucked it up. It was like eating spicy chicken and butter noodles. Jon thought it was fine but I was horrified. How could I fuck the easy dish up again. AGAIN?!
Betsy txt’d me, “Did you salt the pasta water?”
“Yes.” I replied.
She asked several more questions and I could mentally tick all of them off as having done. Then she txt’d me…
“Did you put garlic in it?”
I know she was laughing when she asked this. I mean really, how can you forget the garlic? The name of the dish is fucking Garlic Chicken Pasta. Forgetting the garlic is like forgetting the spaghetti when you make chicken parm. It’s just unheard of.
Then I started to think…
I forgot the fucking garlic.
How does one forget one of the main ingredients in the dish? So sad.
So… very… sad.
I’m gonna steal borrow her idea and start it up here. Here’s how it works. On Sunday I’ll post the chef of the week and some links to help find a recipe. Then, later in the week I’ll post what I’ve done and add links for anyone else who has participated. ANYONE can participate and I would love to add all the links I can. I know the I Blame My Mother blog used some thing that allowed people to add their link I’ll have to figure that out.
If you don’t have a blog though but are participating anyway… I’d LOVE to post a guest post for you. Just email me your writeup at email@example.com and any pics you might have and I’ll get it posted up for you. I’m really looking forward to this and seeing what everyone does!