IRL: Soon to be Dead Husbands

People tend to say the funniest shit sometimes when they are in here.  A story from awhile back…

A man came in and started asking questions about cock rings.  He seemed informed on how they worked but wasn’t sure which was a good one.  I asked if it was medical (diabetes, hypertension, etc.) and he said no.  He explained to me that since he got married a few months ago his wife had put on 50 lbs.  He just wasn’t into it anymore.  I laughed a bit, he laughed, and I asked if she had switched jobs or something and he informed me that when they were dating she ordered salads.  Now, they are married and she orders steak.  So wrong… lol, so wrong.

A guy came in this morning that reminded me of that.  He told his wife he was coming to the store and that she had asked for some type of panties.  I started naming off types… Crotchless?  No.  Boyshort?  No.  G string?  No.  That was pretty much all the types we have, our panties are meant to be sexy.  He said she thought she had said Spanks and he asked if I knew what they were.  I told him they are basically like a guys compression shorts / shirts.  They kinna suck the fat in and hold everything together.

“Well she definitely needs that!”  he said.

I roflcopter’d and told him to make sure not to say that in front of her.  He quickly looked around, panic mode starting to set in, and told me if she had heard that she’d probably destroy him right here on the spot.

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3 thoughts on “IRL: Soon to be Dead Husbands

  1. D says:

    “He told his wife he was coming to the store and that she had asked for some type of panties.”

    …That seems weird to me. Honey, I’m going to the sextoystore to pick up some new porn, you need me to grab anything while I’m there?

  2. Xeo says:

    Porn is the smallest portion of our stock. We mostly sell adult toys and lingerie so for her asking for sexy panties isn’t much of a reach.

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