Quitting Time?

I’ve been on a downward spiral when it comes to WoW as of the recent months.  Each login becoming more and more difficult until it has become a job that I want to call in sick for.  You know it is bad when you are considering not logging in for the raid you are supposed to lead and turning off your cell, leaving 24 other people in bewilderment.  Then the lil’ dwarf angel on my shoulder (they are smaller than regular angels but super hairy!) talked me out of doing such a bad thing.

I’m mostly sure I’d regret it.

I’ve decided to take a week off from raiding (this week) because I’m quite frankly ready to cancel my account.  I’ve talked to a few friends about it and mostly its just been guilt trips on me to stick around cut back my time.  They think it is just burnout… which for the most part it is but there is another component.

Even with a reduced schedule I don’t enjoy logging in… and its because of my raiders.  It isn’t all of them mind you (uhm… if you’re one of my raiders reading this it most certainly can’t be you whistle).  I can’t solely blame them, part of that blame is on Blizzard certainly.  They have made the game so easy that a lot of really talented players forget that it still takes a bit of work and focus to kill some of the bosses.  You can’t simply show up and stand in one spot DPS’ing the boss while you watch Three’s Company on Nick @ Night (does nick @ night still exist?)  Maybe it is only obvious to me that the slacking has grown to an intolerable state.

Each week our raid the struggles has been harder for bosses that we’ve had on farm.  Hell, it took us weeks longer to kill some of the easier bosses like Rotface and Festergut than it should have.  No longer are we progression forward.  We are standing back looking at those succeeding with our thumbs in our asses wondering what is going wrong.  We just aren’t wondering long enough to fix it.  We shrug our shoulders and say oh well and move on.

Problem is I worry about everything, I sweat the little stuff.  I’m not sure if I could live without stress and anxiety but it has turned into me feeling like the errors in the situation are my fault.  That I’ve done something wrong (which I’m not saying isn’t possible).  I’m just not being fair to myself though.

I’ve always said / heard that if it isn’t fun you have to do something to fix it.  That is what I am going to do.

I let everyone know Friday we’d be taking the coming week off (I didn’t inform them I’m considering not coming back though).  That our general blah attitude wasn’t going to cut it and it was time to get a bit serious about the issue.  If people couldn’t focus for the 5-10mins it took to kill a boss then they wouldn’t be there.  I hate nothing more than having to cut friends that I raid with, but it is time to make the decisions that need to be made.

I want to leave you with this song.  It isn’t completely related but I’m really in love with it.  It isn’t sappy if that is what you are thinking.


20 thoughts on “Quitting Time?

  1. xeonio says:

    Hell yes D! We were going to do something this spring but Betsy went and got knocked up so it kinna threw a wrench in things (plus my procrastination might have effected it).

  2. Conifer says:

    5 years is a long time to play the same video game. Would hate to see you go, but you can’t go on “dreading” playing a video game and think of it like a job. That’s just totally not what they are supposed to be.

    I was feeling the same way awhile back (pre-BC). Here is what I did. Quit. Take a few months off. Play some other stuff. If you miss it, you will come back. If you don’t miss it, then you are done.

  3. Tagra says:

    This is going to be really fucking long. We get to see if there is a word limit on comments!

    There are limits to everything, and you play WoW way too fucking much. Leading TWO 10 mans and a 25 man (all to the same place) every week would make me kill myself. It’s stupid. Why would you do that to yourself?

    I was, until very recently, raiding on two characters. I would be at the university from 8 until 5:30, rush home to log on before raid start at 6, and then play wow until 9 or 10. For a couple of weeks I was doing that six nights a week. I didn’t even have time to make dinner when I got home (this is what husbands are for), and I’d be in bed right after the raid. I very quickly realized this was fucking stupid (plus I got a second job, heh), and dropped the 10 mans I was helping out with, which meant I was raiding a mere 4 nights a week. I found I was losing patience pretty quickly though. I was only raiding with my druid to help out my friends, and their continued refusal to fix a lot of major problems led to me sending out a lot of PMs listing everything that needed to be fixed, and laying out an ultimatum that I didn’t have time to waste with these problems anymore. I gave them one month wherein I continually sent reminders to people every single time the things on my list occurred. We actually did fix a lot of the problems, but some of the major ones (the ones I would actually quit over) were completely ignored, so on my final raid I sent a tell warning them that if it happened again I was gone. It happened again, and suddenly I was only raiding two nights a week :P.
    So, there’s definitely a line before you snap and start stabbing the people standing next to you. Know your limit play within it?

    That said, our 25 man raids were not doing badly. I upload my log every week and pick through it, and there are definitely areas to improve on, but if there weren’t we’d be fucking Paragon, not Relentless. Considering the state of our server (dead last in our battlegroup for progression, woo) and the variable signups we deal with through LO, we’re doing just fine (more on this in a second).

    You may be *perceiving* them as doing badly because you’re burned out and having trouble seeing anything as positive at the moment, but they’re not doing badly. The things that are going wrong are, in my opinion, a matter of leadership.
    And I don’t really mean leadership, per se. I enjoy your leading, I’ve said so numerous times before. It’s more a matter of scheduling.

    Let’s take a step back in time.
    The current top charter in LO raids three nights a week. They put a lot of time into HToc and summarily cleared four encounters there and got a decent amount of heroic loot.
    When ICC opened they were able to use that loot to quickly burn a path through the citadel and get a leg up while learning the encounters. They now clear everything we clear on the first night, and were able to spend a lot more time working on the bosses we have not yet cleared.
    Despite that, we were only two bosses behind them.

    We, on the other hand, spent almost no time whatsoever in HToc. Almost every single raid we actually did schedule for it was cancelled because you felt we didn’t have the DPS for it, which is fair enough… EXCEPT that when we did get a decent group in there, we didn’t fail because of our DPS. We failed because despite its very deceiving appearance, HToc is very different from Normal Toc. We had no fucking idea what we were doing because we hadn’t had any practice. At all. Because every raid was cancelled so we never got any practice. It was 100% execution that killed us in HToc, and *because* we failed at that execution, future raids got cancelled AGAIN because of this perception that we wouldn’t be able to do it.
    We finally did get a couple more cracks at it and got the first two bosses down, and could have easily cleared the third, maybe even make a dent in the fourth, except we ran out of time. And never went back.

    We got into ICC and we raided one night a week. One. We did not have heroic gear giving us an advantage while we learned. (Not to mention the motherfucking disconnects the first like, three fucking weeks where we couldn’t go 10 minutes without losing three people on fights where if we lose 1 person it’s a wipe ARRRGHHHH. Ok it’s cool, I’m calm…). We continually ran out of raid time to make any progression while gearing up. Once we got geared up we added a second night and got to the point where we are now, and we’re still running out of raid time for progression. We are two bosses behind the lead charter in LO, and the reason we haven’t killed those two bosses is because we have spent a grand total of 40 minutes on one of them, and all of 2 attempts on the other. We got the third boss, which they hadn’t killed yet, to within a millimeter of winning when we were overrun by a tidal wave of soft enrage, and then we ran out of time for the week so we couldn’t tweak our performance to get that last couple of %s.

    I’ve looked at the WoL reports and seen the little notated number beside the bosses indicating how many wipes the other charters have required to learn them. We are not failing to put in effort, and (with rare exception…) we aren’t a raid packed with raiders who are just standing around with thumbs up their asses hoping for loot to fall out of them. LO signups can be variable. Some weeks we’ll have a raid slot or two filled with an unknown who could be a fantastic raider who just couldn’t make a regular raid this week so stepped into ours, or EbaymcEbayson who doesn’t actually know what autoattack is supposed to do, and thinks green puddles are fun to play in because it makes numbers appear over their head. We raid near the end of the week, after all the crazy nutjobs probably spent the last three days raiding 10 mans or 25 mans on their alts, which makes them more tired and more likely to drift off. Or the olympic hockey match is playing during the raid and no one is actually looking at their screen this week (I wasn’t >.>). These variables change the raid from week to week, but we still manage to get to the same point every week more or less, but sometimes it takes us longer. Then the raid ends.

    We aren’t getting enough time with the bosses to learn them thoroughly, and then the next week we usually come back with fuzzy memories and some new faces mixed in (faces which might be ignorant of the fight, on fights where everyone must do their job to their fullest potential…) and have to re-learn what to do and where to go. By the time we do start to figure it out, we’re tired because it’s been 4 hours. Then the raid ends before it all comes together, and then next week we have more new faces, but we’re remembering a little more and getting closer. If we had a third night, we wouldn’t have a week to forget everything and we’d be back fresh. (but we might be more tired, I dunno).
    The point is not that we need a third night, it’s that we’re doing what we’re doing with only two. Comparing a raid group running on two nights (and until recently only one) to a group running on three is apples and oranges.

    You are clearly burned out and probably do need a break. But is that not why there are multiple other people with (L) beside their name? The raids are not as bad as you are apparently perceiving them to be, but if that’s what you’re seeing in them, you’re not going to be an effective leader for them because you’re not going to be able to motivate everyone. I know you don’t like to share leading, but if you were to step back more often and let one of them carry some of them load maybe you wouldn’t feel like shit now? If I were you (which I’m not) I would let someone else lead for a bit and take a break, take an easy-chair role for a couple of weeks maybe until you’re feeling it again, but not give up completely.

    I hope none of that sounded bitchy or ranty, I didn’t mean it to be at *all* :P, just giving my PoV.

  4. Conifer says:

    I thought about suggesting that too. Let someone else lead and focus on just your role as a healer. It’s fun man. But I’m not sure you could give up full control. 🙂

  5. Tagra says:

    He’d have to uninstall all his addons. And possibly turn his monitor off.

    Then we’d have to kick him from the raid for standing in shit and not healing…

  6. Conifer says:

    I think many raiders have come to rely on Xeo to tell them when to do everything. When Xeo says jump – everyone jumps. The problem is that when Xeo doesn’t say jump, everyone stands around waiting for him to tell them to jump. It’s time we started jumping without being told!

  7. Tagra says:

    I kinda noticed that too… most of the time I’m already moving before stuff is announced (vent latency is probably involved too, which is why I don’t rely on it), so it’s really fucking obvious when I’m moving and nothing else is until a couple of seconds later >.<

  8. Shadowfaux says:

    xeo giving up control?? lol (and i hope and pray he does not !!)

    In a nutshell what Tagra said. and DELETE your shaman….and quit raiding the same content on 10 diffrent alts.

  9. Shiningstar says:

    I totally understand where Xeo is coming from, especially since he’s leading so many raids per week. It would cause any lead to burn out. Tagra, I loved your post and I totally agree with everything you said. Well put. If Xeo decides to stick it out and stay in WoW AND continue raiding, he needs to seriously step back and cut down on the play time. Limit the number of hours raiding per week and spend a little time IRL away from the game.
    As for giving up control for some of the raids…haha. I don’t see it happening, even if we do have some other people with (L) next to their names.

  10. xeonio says:

    LO Requires me to have other people with an L next to their name, otherwise there originally wouldn’t have been others with the L.

  11. Norhia says:

    I’ve been feeling burned out on playing wow and stressed out in real life.

    Haven’t quit though.

    Instead, I’ve been roleplaying. >_>

  12. I know Xeo wouldn’t like letting go of some control, but i’m sure after leading so much, it’d be nice to sit back and let someone else do it. Even Xeo would enjoy that. I agree with shadow, delete that stupid shaman. And Xeo and Tagra are right, sometimes we don’t have normals and we are iffy, but also other nights we do and we mess up for no reason. Too much fucking up too often, ICC seems to be unrelenting. But then agian. We are Relentless.

  13. Malaren says:

    It saddened me when Xeo formally announced that he would be taking a break, but I also knew that it had been coming. I totally get that you’re a control freak b/c I’m one too. Often, control freaks are people who have high expectations of themselves and we want to be in charge b/c, clearly, people can’t function on their own and they need people like us to tell them how, when and what to do.

    Part of being a control freak also includes an innate need to be the best and strive to excel at everything that we do and if we’re doing whatever it takes to be the best then we feel that everyone else should as well. Therein lies the problem. I made the recent decision to remove myself from all leadership positions b/c no matter what kind of team I’m on (guild, raid, dance, work committee) people always fail to live up to my expectations of them and that can be very infuriating when it goes on for long enough. Sure, you’re patient in the beginning, but when it starts to drag out for weeks and months you begin to ask yourself why the hell you even bothered to help these people to begin with.

    So, what’s the solution? Do you relinquish leadership and just sit back to watch the group fall apart (you just know it’ll happen b/c ur not in charge and then they’ll see that they should’ve listened to you to begin with) or, perhaps, share responsibility (so you have someone else to blame when the group fails)? No clear answer her, unfortunately. Sometimes you can sit back and relax and you may just find out that ur particular leadership style didn’t fit that group. You may find that sharing the leadership role not only takes some of the stress off of you but the group as a whole functions better b/c more eyes and ears to help root out and correct issues.

    Xeo, I know you probably think you’re all cuddly and are just bursting with sunshines and rainbows but, believe it or not, you can be quite intimidating. At first, I didn’t like raiding with you b/c all you ever seemed to do was yell, criticize and publicly humiliate your raiders and I couldn’t figure out why people kept signing up for your raids, but then I got to know your “non-raiding” side and it was actually quite pleasant. I will say that I have become a better raider b/c of you. My situational awareness has increased tremendously b/c I was afraid that you were gonna yell at me if I fucked up. For those of you that think that Xeo is hand-holding or coddling us, you have no idea what those terms mean until you’ve raided with some of the charters that I have.

    I wouldn’t say that I made this post to offer any suggestions, but more-or-less to give yourself and others a little perspective. I hope that you have taken this week off to do some self-reflecting and that you do decide to come back at some point. We miss you and need you. Besides, if you don’t, I may be forced to continue raiding with a charter that took almost 20-min to start Saurfang after clearing Gunship.

  14. Addy says:

    I don’t know what goes on in Relentless gchat or ochat, but I have noticed Xeo soliciting feedback in raid channels of late. It’s kind of nice and I think some of the adjustments helped us out.

    Giving up control is a lot different from seeking input or collaborating. Delegation is another one of those effective management concepts.

    I think some of your raiders have ideas for improvement, but hold them back due to the intimidation factor or thinking Xeo knows best (now that’s a funny one).

    Anyway, that is my 2 cents. Xeo you need to come back cause I want to raid and I don’t want to find another charter to do it.

    Finally, I cannot stress how much I agree with Tagra’s comments. Hit it right in the head.

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