/trade WTB House, pst

disaster house copyThis week has been stupid hectic for me.  I had to meet with my mortgage agent on Monday and found out I was approved for a home loan!  I immediately called a few realtors and saw some houses that evening.

I had been searching all the local listings almost daily for the last couple of months while I scrimped and saved so I’d have a nicer, more attractive down payment.  I had 3 houses picked out and just last week two of the three sold.  I was sad, but I didn’t let it deter me.

I got a viewing of the only house left available on my list and fell in love with it first.  You aren’t supposed to buy the first house you see though.  I had ToC10 last night so I scheduled a bunch more viewings of houses that were on my meh list, just to make sure that I didn’t miss out on anything.

I wish I had taken my camera with me so I could easier describe some of the things I saw…

House 1:
House number one was for sell, but was still being rented at the moment.  The renter didn’t want to move though.  They made this abundantly clear while we were looking around.  I’ve honestly never seen a house so filthy.  That landlord should take a look to see what the renter is doing to their house.  Anyway, we walk in the front door and the couch has a mound of stuff on it thats, no lie, about 5 feet high.  There’s a doorway from the living room to the dining room that is blocked by a bookcase so you have to take the long way around through the kitchen.  Top it all off with the renter following us around lying to us.  At one point she was trying to tell us that the AC was broken… even though it was like 70 degrees in the house (the temperature outside was about 90).

House 2:
I had planned on their being something wrong from the start.  The house had almost an extra 1,000 square feet more than the houses in my price range.  We go in and its breath taking.  Picture window in the living room with a fire place, three very large bedrooms, one horrific pink tiled bathroom, one meh baby blue kitchen, a nice garage… I was starting to think I had maybe found something that beat my favorite.  The renters for this house were there but they went outside while we looked.  Very respectful people.

We got to talking to them about the house and they were military.  They had just had a bid accepted on a house they were looking at and were fixing to move.  Then they started showing me around the house pointing out some serious flaws.  Things like the attic fan (its a big hole with a fan that sucks air out of the house, sounds neat /shrug) didn’t work and wouldn’t close so there was a trash bag + duct tape to make it not leak when it rains.  There was a spot in the master bedroom that had a leak in the roof.  The biggest part of the house, the second living area that was added on after the house was built.  It was ginormous, amazing… except for the fact the ceiling was bowing from the constant amount of leaking it had during rains.  Plus you could see where it was coming away from the house, which let you peak to see what kind of stuffing it had.

Which was none.  There was no insulation between the wood paneling and the brick outsides of the house.  It scared me since I saw lots of cracks when I was in the backyard.  The backyard was another adventure, you had to walk on big squares of plywood that were just laid down so you wouldn’t fall through the deck where the wood had rotted out.

disaster house3

Not the actual house, this would have been a remodel.

House 3:
Delinia talked me into seeing this one.  I totally blaim it on her.  A man met us at the front door (no idea if he was the owner or the renter) to let us in.  (Note:  If you are selling a house two BIG things.  You should NOT have renters in it fucking it up and most certainly, you should not be meandering around the fucking house while they look.) The first thing you see when you walk in is where someone punched a hole in the wall.  We progressed into the kitchen that hadn’t been cleaned since the house was built in the 1950’s.  You didn’t pay much attention to it though since you were preoccupied with, you think I’m exaggerating, not falling through the kitchen floor.  I haven’t bought many (read: any) houses but I have to wonder… if there is a chasm in your kitchen that swallows people, do you think it will sell?

The house was comical at the very least.  After maneuvering through the kitchen we checked a bedroom that felt like it should have padded walls, something about it just did not sit right.  The next thing was a bathroom that literally had a foot of space between the sink and the wall you would be pinned against when the roof caved in on you.  We took a look at the last bedroom downstairs and the realtor had to stick her finger in a hole to try and open the closet door.  It was great when she opened it half way and something (possibly a body) almost crushed her and she shook her head sorrowfully as she closed the door.

BONUS!  It also had an upstairs.  We were coming down the hallway towards either A) the front door or B) the stairs to further scary… Delinia turns to me and asks, “Do you want to see the upstairs?”  Mind you, she has a look on her face like maybe she’s not going to wait for an answer as she runs from the house screaming like a cat on fire…

My search, is complete.

I now treasure my first choice more than I did before.  I have no idea how it has been on the market for so long (read: at least 3 months).  My father wanted to take a look at whatever house I chose before I put in a bid, do that fatherly nod that says they approve of your choice type of thing.  Regardless of what he says, I’m putting a bid in.

Cross your fingers!


6 thoughts on “/trade WTB House, pst

  1. Shiningstar says:

    LOL I was reading this post over breakfast and almost spit my cereal onto the monitor after reading about some of these houses.

    Glad you’ve found your dream house 🙂

    Hope you get it!

  2. daemia says:

    When you have the house inspected, don’t trust the inspector if he shows up with his fly undone and ice cream all over his face. Just sayin’.

  3. Conifer says:

    Having just bought a house myself, I will give this advice: Do NOT skimp when it comes to inspections. Most people just go with the general inspector, but there are some specialty inspectors that I would also recommend.

    Chimney Inspector (if you have a fireplace). They will send a camera up the chimney and check all the masonry work inside. They will also go on the roof and make sure your chimney is not going to fall over.

    Pool Inspector (if you have a pool). General Inspectors usually know nothing about pools.

    If your general inspector says that you might want to get a specialist in, DO IT.

    After our inspections, we went back to the sellers with a list of things they needed to fix AND a request for $18,000 in order to fix 3 major problems with the house. We got it all.

  4. daemia says:

    If we had to do it over again, we would’ve gotten an electrician and a plumber to take a closer look at the house.

  5. Conifer says:

    The electrician is where we made the biggest score. Turned out that all the electrical needed to be gutted and redone on the house we bought. Had the sellers knock $10,000 off the price so we could get that done.

  6. xeonio says:

    I wouldn’t have thought to get a specialist in there. My uncle is an electrician so I’ll have him take a look at the house. Thx peeps!

    @Shindig – /grin

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