Guild TLC

invite kittenI’ve mentioned before that my guild is ran by 3 people, Delinia, Dariar, and myself.  Dariar is on a break due to work and that leaves his wife, Delinia, very busy with IRL.  Leaving me in charge is not a good idea, that’s for sure.  I lead raids.  I yell at people.  I’m not so good on the social aspects of taking care of others.

Someone comes to me with a problem and I try to relate it to raiding.  That way it sounds profound (I hope) and not like I have no clue WTF they are talking about.  It isn’t often that I’m the cause of a problem (haha, who am I kidding?)

I logged in this morning and found out I had angered some people.  What what?

Each day I do the daily heroic.  I usually do it twice.  I heal it once on my priest and tank or DPS it once on my DK.  I go out of my way to get as many people from guild into groups that I can.  I’ve done several heroics that had 2 tanks or 3 healers.  It doesn’t bother me, I like hanging out with everyone in the guild.

I always just ask in guild chat if anyone wants to go.  The first people to respond are the people I take.  The closest I come to favorites is that a good friend of mine is always my tank when I heal.  It’s just a good deal we have so we don’t have to worry about filling those slots.  If no one responds I PUG the last spots.

In Everquest I PUG’d just about everything except raids.  There was always a reason to get experience points (dying in EQ caused XP loss and you could actually delevel).  Plus you always meet new people in PUGs.  Sometimes good… sometimes not, but my point is that when I want to do the daily heroic I get it done.

As I mentioned I don’t always get people from guild for groups.  Which makes me wonder why people think that others just come running to me when I form them.

Last night after my 10man ended (we got Anub’arak by the way, it was stupid easy 1 shot with almost no knowledge of WTF was going on) Watz (a guildie DPS) asked me if I wanted to do the daily.  I was like nah, I think I’ma go to bed.  Then my tanky friend from guild asked and I was like ugh, sure, I’ll go if we take Watz since I told him I wasn’t going to.

I invite Tanky friend, Watz, and ask guildchat if anyone wants to go.  Two DPS respond and I take them.  I think nothing of it.

Flash forward to this morning…

I find out that there were 2 other groups in guild chat looking for people.  The first group consisted of 2 dps and a healer and the other was a full group minus a tank I think.  Now, mind you it wasn’t possible for me fix those groups and I would have felt bad ninja’ing pieces of them but they got mad that when I asked for some people… they were right there ready to go.  A few said (I heard it threw the grapevine) that those people must be sucking up to me or something.  What what?

First of all I know the exact position they are talking about.  In the only other guild I’ve been part of in WoW this was a big issue.  The guild leader had a clique that always did stuff together.  It was almost impossible to get a group with him.  Lots of members felt slighted, because he went out of his way not to take people.  I’ve never wanted to be like that.  It’s why I take the first people who respond in gchat.

Second of all I took it extremely personal.  It really hurt my feelings that people think I was somehow trying to slight them.  I’ve NEVER had that intention.  It made me feel really bad, like I had somehow failed parts of my guild when I didn’t do anything wrong.  Why should I be the one in trouble when I didn’t do anything wrong.

Now I’m left with the problem of how do I make those people feel better?  I can’t do more heroics, I barely have enough time to do the jewel crafting daily before I’m getting ready for a raid or some other random thing.  I’m not going to stop grouping with guildies so that no one can say I’m playing favorites.

I’m just going to try to go out of my way to get peeps I don’t normally get a chance to group with.  It’s the best (read: only) solution I have for the problem.

If Mr. Officerchat is reading this I’d be very interested in his point of view on the situation and how he might solve it.


8 thoughts on “Guild TLC

  1. Addy says:

    Well my first reaction was to tell people to grow up, but that is not constructive and would probably compound the problem you already have. It does feel good though.

    Similar situations like this come up at work. Assistant Manager #1 says I favor Keyholder #3 and Assistant Manger #2 kinda agrees, but wants to stay out of it. Of course I hear this from Keyholder #4. **Boggle** I just want to run a store.

    So I confronted all of them. I did it individually and immediatley. I told them the truthfully how I felt about each one of them and that if I praised one over the other it was because generally that person did a better job at meeting my expectations.

    If I could loosly fit my situation into your example, I think I would let everyone know how you handle 5man invites. Why you do it that way. The reason you started doing it this was was to lessen drama. I would also tell them to COMMUNICATE with you in advance if they really feel the need to 5man with you.

    After you have done all that I think you can feel OK to wash your hands. We are all big boys and girls and are out to have fun playing WoW.

  2. Shiningstar says:

    I feel your pain. As one of a small handful of healers in my guild, I often feel torn when it comes to getting that daily heroic done. I had old friends and RL friends and other guildies all wanting to do the daily and I felt like a juggling act trying to keep everyone happy and feeling loved. I like people to be happy. I discovered something…after spending 15 solid hours online and in game one day, I had made most of them happy. Most. I tried to fulfill their desires to run alts through ToC, characters in Heroic ToC, do the daily heroic, do other heroics…

    After 15 hours I hadn’t done my JC, cooking, or fishing daily (which I do every day on my main). I hadn’t had time to fish. I had eaten only breakfast, I think. My house was in shambles. I had had no time for ME. Despite all of this, if I had stayed online I think they would have found more things that they needed me for. This was a real wakeup call. I started cutting back. The truth is, you can’t make everyone happy. I settled down and started taking the first invite I would get for that daily heroic. If I felt like doing other heroics, I did. If I didn’t, well…then I did what I wanted to do.
    I don’t think anyone was harmed by this change. For me, it’s definitely a healthier solution. 🙂 I think every guild has cliques or maybe even perceived cliques. I think it’s nice that you are making an effort to invite anyone who responds first. Keep doing that and don’t get discouraged. This game is about having fun, it’s not supposed to bring you down.

  3. daemia says:

    That is not sucking up to you, it’s just smart to join a real group that already has a tank and a healer. I LOL at people in LFG who are like, “LF2M, tank + healer”…should be more like “3 dps LFG”. Yeah, it sucks not to get in on a guild heroic, but our guild is bigger than 5 people so it’s going to happen.

  4. Tagra says:

    Clearly the solution is to kick everyone and have a guild of 5 people.

    I can sort of see where they’re coming from… if you’re sitting around going “come on guys let’s get a group together” and no one responds, and then Xeo goes “we’re making a group” and suddenly Xeo’s group is full and going to a heroic and you’re still sitting there? Especially if both groups are sitting there looking for a tank specifically, and then a tank forms a completely different group and excludes them instead of joining their group which is ready to go? It wouldn’t take a whole lot to be annoyed by that or feel that some sort of grouping preference was going on.


    From the way you describe the group makeups, there’s no way they could have formed groups without busting up a half-formed group already (including yours, if they were to take your tank to complete their groups) which sucks for the people who get left on the curb. I’d be much much more annoyed by being kicked out of a group I was already in so that everyone else could go join some other group without me.

  5. I was quite surprised to come along this post and see a question asked directly of me. Fancy that. Furthermore, I did not read any of the above comments, as to not become biased with others’ opinions. Anyways…

    It seems that members are either:
    A. Jealous of your company, and the fact that you’re sharing it with others in preference of them, or
    B. Frustrated that you’ll help your “friends” with heroics instead of them, even when they’re all set to go.

    From what you’re saying, it’s a completely different story, one in which I’ve gone through plenty of times. You’re tired, about ready to go to bed- turn a few people down on runs, and then all of a sudden a buddy comes on and convinces you to do one real quick. You have effectively alienated everyone prior who was looking to accomplish the same goal with the reasoning of, “You aren’t important enough to persuade me to remain online, but this guy is.”

    The simple solution here, would be to tell the guild to get over it. Everyone has different personalities and gets along on differently with certain types of people. You have made friends with this tank, and have developed a habit of running tank/healer together when either of you want a run. I’m sure the tank has ran instances that he/she wasn’t quite up for, but he did it for you because of the relationship you have built. Thus you have done the same for him. It’s called a friendship, and they are perfectly allowed in guilds, GM and all.

    The second thing that threw me off, is that both groups needed a tank. You were in a healer role, so how does this fall upon you? If your tank buddy was the only one online, he has 3 groups to choose from. 1 group that’s just missing a tank, 1 group that’s short a tank & dps, and 1 group with the guy who’s always been there to heal him (and I’m willing to bet, does a good job at it to continue to be his preference). That’s all it is, his preference. Perhaps he doesn’t want to spend 30-60 minutes in an instance with players whom he has nothing in common with. Maybe he would like to laugh, joke, and have a good time in his last run of the day. He asked you to remain online to run it, and you decided that he’s earned your time.

    Lastly, you stated you asked for dps, and even made sure to invite the guy you turned away. Whether a group of 3 dps are asking for players, or the tank/healer is asking for players, it’s the same thing. It was open game, and your guild needs to stop dwelling on petty nonsense. If anything, go pug it. They are heroics, and everyone has free T8….

    The hard answer would be to take your hard-ass approach to raiding, and lay it on the line for your members. You will not tolerate drama, squabbling, or disrespect, ESPECIALLY over meaningless drivel. State the bullet points I went over, and tell them to move on. This is a raiding guild, and there lies your obligation, not to hold hands with each member through H. UK so that they can sleep better at night. If they wanted to strengthen a friendship, there are other ways to go about it. If they just needed a tank, then find a pug. The options are not that difficult, yet the issues fall upon your back 10x when having to deal with them.

    Off-time while not raiding is off-time, players can do what they wish. If they choose to start up accusations and rouse drama from the other members, then develop a plan for dealing with such. Perhaps bench a player for a raid night if they can’t play nicely and keep the peace.

    All in all, I believe you’re in the clear. Your job as GM is to run the guild smoothly so that it can progress towards it’s goals. Running heroics with group A instead of group B isn’t on course with that job. Unless you’re actively shunning or disrespecting Group B, they need to mature up and play the game. You have far too many problems on your GM plate than holding hands through Northrend.

    Again, that’s just my take on the matter. Every guild is different and to each their own. I hope everything works itself out ok, address, solve, and move on.


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