Epeen Rankings

If you play WoW then you probably know what an epeen is, but just in case…

Epeen:  Short for electronic penis, often used in pissing contests between people.

I killed Sartharion 3D and your guild can’t clear Naxx25 which makes my epeen about 7 feet longer than yours.

I’m big on epeen thats for sure.  Mainly because I’m a very competitive person.  When I find another player doing my job better I will ask them questions and study combat logs to find out what they are doing better than me.  I can’t settle for second best (one of my major caveats of being Discipline).  Luckily, I’m not the only person who has to measure their epeen, or their guilds epeen versus others.  This epeen measurement has spawned numerous ‘ranking’ sites across the internet.

Personal Ranking Sites:

1.  WoW Heroes : A very useful site for comparing characters and getting a look at random players (as it loads much faster than the armory).  You can also list the players on your server, choose spec as the sorter and it will rank people according to a ‘score’ within those specs.  The only issue I’ve found with its ranking system is how their score is deteremined.  It adds all of the iLevels of the gear you are wearing together and you are ranked according to that.  The problem is that for a lot of classes the best-in-slot item isn’t necessarily an item with the highest iLevel.

2.  Be Imba! : This site isn’t interested as much in ranking you versus other people as it is at ranking you against yourself.  You pull your character up via the normal way, select US or EU, server, then your character name.  It will pull up your character and apply scores to your gear.  I’m not sure what the scores are based on but it is likely a stat weight system.  It also gives you a gem score as well as an enchant score.  It tells you about missed socket bonuses and gear that may not have the proper enchant.  It displays a graph at the bottom of your character page that suggests places you will find gear upgrades and places you should perform well with your current gear.  Back in TBC this was a VERY useful tool when there were so many different tiers of raiding.  While the information provided here isn’t the end all be all it is very useful for a beginning player to get a better idea of what they might be looking for.

Guild Ranking Sites:

1.  WoW Jutsu : One of the first sites I found back in TBC that ranked your guild both server and worldwide.  Their ranking system, “WowJutsu’s scoring system is based on the loot that the people in any given guild have received.”  Because of this it tends to fall behind and be less accurate then the two sites listed below.  It doesn’t record achievements, which in my mind increases your epeen a bit more than farming Naxx25 for the 100th time.

2.  WoW Progress :  I checked the FAQ for a more indepth clue as to how it ranks people and it is a bit outdated (read: Not updated since TBC).  It says that each boss is worth X number of points.  The first time a guild kills it they are awarded the maximum number of points.  The second guild to kill it is awarded a fraction of the maximum points (based on some formula they provide) but is effected mainly by the number of days between the first kill and the second guilds kill.  I’d imagine it updates the same way now, it just doesn’t have the initial point totals listed for each kill.  It also assigns values to achievments in the same way it does boss kills.  This helps the site to give a better indication of how guilds on the server are doing.  My only problem with this site is purely aesthetic.  Its about as pretty as a truckstop restroom.

3.  Guild Ox : I just found this website a few days ago so I’m not sure how long it has been around.  Due to the way it ranks it hasn’t been out for very long.  It works at the opposite end of the spectrum of WoW Jutsu in that it ranks guilds via Raid Achievements (which in theory should see boss kills to a certain extent as well).  The site is easily navigated, loads quickly and updates very often.  Not as accurate as WoW Progress in my opinion (since it doesn’t record boss kills like they do) it is still a very good site.  Aesthetically it also passes the grade!

As soon as my guild accomplishes something new I run off to update these sites and make sure it gets reported.  My epeen is my vanity pet.

Did I miss any amazing sites that you can think of?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s